Child Motivation, Protection & Care

Do Not Just Talk But Listen To Your Child

Communication is a very important factor in every relationship. It is a vital factor for a relationship to work out, to keep an open line of communication. But communicating is not always easy, especially among children in the family. Talking to children can be daunting and laborious. There is always that hole in between feeling like you are not connecting to each other. At times you may feel like they are not listening to you, or that you are not hearing what they are trying to say. But talking is not that matters. Just as substantial, is how you listen as well. Communication and listening skills must go hand in hand for successful parenting. You may be the parents, but it does not mean your voice alone must be heard. Your children’s feelings, opinions, and views certainly have their own worth. It is part of being a parent to go beyond the physical and material things that children need. Reaching out, talking and hearing what your children have to say, sitting down with them and openly discuss small and big things, are all part of being parents. Honest and open communication sure works and one of the essences of good parenting.

It seems easier to react than respond, isn’t it? Most parents base their judgments on their experiences and feelings. Responding to a child is building a bridge instead of a wall. It opens an unspoken communication line provoking one to be honest instead of being secretive. Letting your child feels that he or she can talk to you at anytime about anything and everything is a wonderful start to building a strong channel of communication and in this manner, your child will feel that he or she can talk to you without any apprehensions and fears. But by reacting, you are just sending your child away. It will make him or her feel that what he or she thought and say does not matter and that in general, his or her opinion is of no relevance and significance to you. No parent wants this. And yet, it seems what most is exhibiting with the intention of showing authority to gain their child’s respect. But unknown to most parents, it only drives their child away from them.

Instead of nagging or doing all the talking majority of the time, why not let your child speak up. Listen. Hear what he or she wants to tell you. This way, you are manipulating a dialogue that provides a convenient way for your child to honestly express his or her feelings, fears and dreams towards you. It will make you closer with your children. They will have that feeling of security because they know they can talk to you without being rejected because you listen to them, you care. Listening to your child or children as they talk about anything is sure to provide them a sense of importance and independence for they know that what they say or think matters to you. And that is just the best way to mold your children into the persons they want to be, to let them be by themselves, and to let them express themselves freely, speaking their minds out. But or course, your continual support, guidance and supervision should always be there 24/7, no day-offs, no breaks.

Being a parent has no limits, no deadlines, and no boundaries. You do not stop being a parent if your child left home to live on his or her own, or off to get married. No. Being a parent or parents is permanent, a lifetime career. It is crucial to give to your children your undivided and full attention. Stop doing the laundry or the dishes, put off the television, stop reading the newspaper, and attend to your child’s needs, make eye contact as you talk to him or her. Be calm, be inquisitive and offer relevant and plausible answers to whatever it is he or she is asking or whatever problems and confusions he or she may have.

If your child is into one of his or her mood swings, let him or her be. Do not dissuade your child or children from getting upset, frustrated or angry. Most parents talk their children out of it, preventing them from expressing and letting go of their disappointments and annoyances in the course of life. Well, don’t. Let them deal with some of life’s uncertainties and unpleasantness. All you have to do instead of scolding and steering them away from their feelings is talk and listen. Ask them questions of why they are feeling such things and offer advises and guide them through it. Let them know you are there for them at any time and always ready to listen to whatever they want to say, may it be shallow or sincere, complaints or praises.

Like anybody else, children encounter and feel tough times too. They also find themselves in difficult and confusing situations. By showing your children that you are so willing to listen, to talk and to participate in any thing they want you in, it will sure show that you dearly care. And by this, you provide them with the deepest sense of being loved.